Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
