I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize