i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
