So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize