we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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