AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
