Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
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She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
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In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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