I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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