shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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