I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
