actually, I'm a sock model
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
