I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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