why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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