That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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