I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
