Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
im six kinds of drunk right now
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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