Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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