the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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