We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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