oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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