Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
