Whatcha textin bout Willis?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
