That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
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I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
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You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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