i wish starbucks made bloody marys
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
did i just pee glitter
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
