ya dads aren't the best wingmen
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
