I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
