it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
