I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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