he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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