im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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