But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
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she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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