I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
