dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
We talked him into tasing himself.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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