i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
