She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
