STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
