so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Soap is not a condiment
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
