k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
