Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
