Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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