windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
