I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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