sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
