I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize