Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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