I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Are we still banned from the library?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
