he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
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