Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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