I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
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