On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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