piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i don't like sucking hair
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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