She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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