no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
