My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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