Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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