Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
