Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
